Fantasy Kaleidoscope

Fedosia counted sixteen bodies. Twelve people she failed to protect, their half-eaten bodies left scattered in the grass. Four monsters that she and the others killed to save the remaining survivors. Frustration welled up inside her, surging into her fingers that clenched her xiphos’ hilt so hard, her knuckles would ache if it weren’t for all the adrenaline coursing through her body. She watched the blood drip from the blade’s tip and stain the tall grass under her sandals. The people of the valley called this place the Sea of Blades. She thought it was just because of the beautiful rolling hills of grass that stretched as far as the eye could see. But these monsters, with their scythe like arms, mowed down men like they did that very grass, giving it all a new meaning. The soil was fertilized with the blood of the fallen so that the survivors could thrive.

Fedosia wanted to scream, but she could feel the anxiety of the people behind her. She wanted to swing her sword more, but she knew it would be too reckless to run off and hunt down any monsters she could find. 

So she turned, pivoting on her heel to face the people she’d protected with a big, enthusiastic smile on her face.

“We won!” Her voice was steadier than she expected. The cracking could be mistaken for joy. Even she was tempted to believe it.

“We won!” Her words were echoed by Khavara, Ilias, and Hoensa first. Tears welled up in their eyes as they rushed forward to embrace Fedosia, clinging to her in celebration. The others followed soon after. None of them could smile themselves because the raw emotion that overtook them made it hard to make a composed face. 

Fedosia expected slurs. Rage, disappoint, derision. She’d failed these people, hadn’t she? She’d only delivered part of what she should have. So what was this reaction? She looked for Xerxes, hoping he could explain this to her. She spotted him sitting by one of the monster corpses, injured but alive. He was pulling apart the creature’s body, using the large gash she’d delivered to it torso as an incision to access its organs. Somehow, as if he were able to feel her gaze on him, he raised his eyes to meet hers without pausing his work. He looked past her toward the people clinging to her and grinned as if he found the sight funny.

“You saved them.” He answered her question like it was that obvious. “Well, we saved them. Thanks to you.”

“But—I—we didn’t—”

“We didn’t save them all? They were fucked before we showed up. I don’t even know how we managed this much.” Xerxes refocused his attention on the monster’s corpse, grimacing at how tough its innards were. He soiled his handsome features with the slimy guts splash that splashed across his face. Some of it got way too close to his lips and it made Fedosia resist the urge to gag. “We pulled off a miracle. And I don’t know if we can do it again when the next attack comes.”

Fedosia couldn’t disagree. How many times had the giant ant-like monsters deflected her sword with their carapace? Their bladed arms moved so fast, one mistake meant losing a limb. Chagasai was the only one who could weather their attacks with his supernaturally tough body, and Xerxes still had to disorient their senses with his spells to prevent them from swarming the wolf man. Fedosia and Azel found a way to break through the ant monsters’ carapace eventually, but she still wasn’t sure how. Until she did, how could she reliably fight back?

Fedosia looked at the people around her, still sobbing in joy and relief at being able to see another day. She thought back to how just two days ago, she didn’t even know this place existed. It was completely by chance that they found their way here, to the right place at the right time, when their fellow humans were stuck in hiding, desperate to survive against this endless horde of monsters. It was easy to envision them all shredded to pieces and turned into a feast for the malicious creatures that jeered over their corpses. Their faces, their sounds…it pissed it off.

“We’ll fight back.” Her words spilled from her mouth with absolute certainty before she even registered them in her head. “By Everlight’s name, I swear to you, we’ll fight back. The gods wanted us here, to help you. We’ll end this nightmare so you don’t have to live in fear anymore, no matter what it takes.”

The cries settled abruptly so everyone could hear what she was saying. All eyes focused on her, each pair full of shock and the creeping light of hope. Fedosia quickly crumbled under all the attention and nervousness seized at her heart.

“I mean—wait. I—”

“Do you think you can do it?” Hoensa took a step forward, her accent quivering as she looked up at Fedosia. The two of them were about five inches apart in height even though the woman was older. The hope in her eyes made them seem much closer in age now. “We can’t even count how many there are, and they never stop. We can never call this valley our home so long as we share it with them.”

Fedosia wished she hadn’t spoken so boldly, not if it meant creating these expectations. But she couldn’t see the expression on Hoensa’s face and disappoint the woman. She’d promised them food and offered to share their shelter. These were good people who earned a break from the oppression of despair.

“We’ll do it! We can figure it out. Right?” She looked over to Xerxes again, hoping to find his support. But her friend had his back to her, elbow deep in the monster’s chest cavity. He was intensely focused on fishing something out, but she couldn’t imagine what. He wasn’t paying any attention to the conversation and Fedosia wanted to throttle him.

She looked for support from the other two instead. Chagasai was still in his massive wolf form, staring up at the three full moons visible in the daylit sky as if he were in a trance. The wind blew across his bloody, matted fur. He might have been doing something shamanistic, Fedosia still didn’t understand how he attuned to the spirits. It wasn’t like the prayers she learned in the Temple of Knowing.

Azel was kind of enough to answer, but Fedosia quickly wish she didn’t.

Azel was covered in wounds, each one a gift from the giant insects meant to flay her flesh from bone. Fedosia couldn’t count the number of bloody slash marks covering her from the shoulders down. The woman must have been in pain, but she walked barefoot through the grass as if she were in the best shape of her life. After managing to smash through those tough carapaces with her heavily conditioned knuckles, the rush of the overcoming a deadly encounter left her refreshed. Fedosia was jealous of that mindset. The conflict and violence made her shine more vibrantly and it made Fedosia feel she was in the wrong for feeling so…light?

“No.” Azel’s voice was rough but clear. Everyone was confused by her words, Fedosia especially.

“No?”

“I’m not going to carry them like newborn babes that can’t chew their own food. How long am I supposed to stay here protecting them? Should I dedicate the rest of my life to being their guardians? I have my own goals in life, and they don’t involve staying here any longer than necessary.”

“Azel, we can’t leave these people to die.”

Azel turned to Fedosia and looked at her with annoyed disappointment that seized Fedosia’s heart.

“You spent your whole life serving your own family and never living for yourself. If you want to fall back into your old habits again, then do it without me.”

–

Night was approaching.

When dusk approached, the sky burned with beautiful red and orange hues. Azel described it as Lo Po Bia’ signal to all the migrating tribes. A universal warning everyone in the Steppes understood to mean that it was time to put up their yurts, make camp, and brace themselves for the ensuing darkness. 

Lo Po Bia, the god Azel spoke of, was so like yet so different from Kalos, the one Fedosia knew. Both were gods of the sun, but Kalos was the morning star that announced night’s end. Fedosia much preferred Kalos’ role. He was the dawn that brought light and hope to people. Everyone craved the sight of his form rising over the horizon and prayed through the night that the day would come and banish the dark sky, at least for a little while. Lo Po Bia was a god to be dreaded, even if it were by no fault of his own. He was a harbinger of death and violence. Every time the evening star shone, people knew time was up. 

The people here in the Sea of Blades were collecting their things and gathering in the underground chamber before dusk even hit. Despite the day’s victory over the monsters, the night would bring with it even worse creatures. Hoensa had finished cooking as much as she could, preparing to keep everyone feed in the worst case. Blankets were divided and prayers were delivered unto the many different gods these disparate people relied on. The tall stone pillars in this section of the valley offered some protection, but the bush and grass that hid the entrance to the underground chamber that sat at the base of one particularly large pillar couldn’t last forever. 

Fortunately, Fedosia had made sure to slay the monsters that had seen the entrance, so they should still be safe for a little while longer. 

Fedosia stood outside on the ground, her sandals tossed a few feet away to sink her toes into the dirt. The grass swayed back and forth under the gentle breeze flowing through the valley, and it really did remind her of the ocean’s waves that she spent years watching from the coast back home. ‘Sea of Blades’ was the perfect name, it was hard to believe Azel and Chagasai had never seen a body of water larger than a lake before. 

She took a deep breath and turned her gaze to the sky above. The stone pillars towered high, scraping the clouds above. It was dizzying to imaging the vertical majesty of them. How far did they reach? Was it even possible to climb them like Xerxes suggested? Azel and Chagasai were eager to consider it, so it was probably in their future to try.

Rustle.

Fedosia nearly jumped out of her own skin at the sound of something moving through the grass nearby behind a pillar. She held her breath and reached for her xiphos, crouching down to obscure herself and set her gaze on the spot where she heard the sound.

A few seconds passed.

“You’ve gotten really scary lately, you know?”

Fedosia groans and lets the tension unwind from her shoulders when she sees the smiling face of her childhood friend peer out from around the pillar.

“Xerxes! You’re the one who scared me! What are you doing out there, it’s almost dusk! What are you doing out there alone?”

“Exploring. Wanna see a new bug I found? It has a bunch of fibers coming out of its back instead of an abdomen. It should be top heavy, but it has incredible balance.”

“What? No! I don’t want to see a weird bug! I don’t get why you always keep looking for those things.”

“Because I keep finding new ones.” He shrugged. “They’re like monsters in that way. Lots of different body parts and body shapes, all to do different things that I wouldn’t have thought about it. And they all work. Compared to them, we humans have a lot more in common with each other.”

Fedosia furrowed her brow. Xerxes finally stepped out from behind the pillar and she saw the trail of mist following behind him, like an ocean spray. It enveloped the base of the pillar, slightly altering its appearance with a lens effect. Fedosia swiveled her head around to look at the other surrounding pillars and noticed the same effect had been placed on them. It was difficult to notice unless she knew what to look for. From her position, it was difficult to identify any of the pillars from each other, and each time she shifted her position, they looked completely different. 

Xerxes had created a maze to make it all the harder to find this one pillar in a sea of them. Maybe that was part of why he looked so damn happy with himself. Every new little trick he discovered with magic made his day.

“Good work.” Fedosia tried to compliment him, but her voice just withered away, her thoughts elsewhere. Xerxes arched a brow as he sauntered over.

“Uh-oh, I know that look.”

“What? No, I’m fine. Really.”

“Wow. Maybe this is my fault. If I didn’t get you out of trouble all the time when we were kids, maybe you would’ve learned to lie better.”

Fedosia shot a glare at him, feeling stupid for even bothering to expect Xerxes to be polite and let her off without pulling this thread. It was easier to give up, so she did. She let herself fall onto the grass, where it was comfortable, glaring at her toes pushing into the dirt under the flowing grass.

“Maybe humans are like bugs too.”

Xerxes sat down opposite and next to her, knees knocking against hers before he crossed his legs under him.

“How’s that?”

“Because we’re so different. You’re a compulsive liar, Azel knows who she is and who she wants to be, and I’ve never seen Sai hesitate before doing anything. You all have things you’re good at that suit you. But apparently the gods saw fit to give me a talent for killing. I’m a killer, Xerxes. I was having so much fun learning to use the sword. Cutting, swinging, parrying, getting my footwork down. All of it. But it’s a skill meant for killing. What would the Everlight think of me? Everything out in this world is trying to kill us, I’ve seen monsters tear people’s body’s apart, and I’ve gotten covered in their guts. But I’m having fun? What happened to me? What have I become?”

She gripped some blades of grass between her fingers and yanked on them, cutting them from their roots with a swift gesture. It was an angry motion, fueled by pent up frustration. She peered up at Xerxes when he didn’t reply and all she saw was an amused smile on his face.

“What!” She threw her hands out to shove him. He caught her by the wrists, chuckling. “I’m serious! You just called me scary! If I thought you were an enemy, I probably would’ve attacked you right there!”

“Isn’t it fine? Fedosia, the old you was stressed out about everything. You were this close to a breakdown. But since coming out here, instead of going off the deep end, you’ve thrived. After such a big change in your life, why wouldn’t you change along with it? Even though the world’s gone crazy, you can handle it.”

“I shouldn’t be like this, though, should I?”

“Why not? I think you were right. Maybe people are like bugs. Your way of surviving and protecting people is cutting them down. Like a praying mantis.”

“I don’t think the Everlight would want me to be a praying mantis. Those thing are gruesome and violent. I should be pure and kind, like the goddess.”

Xerxes sighs and shakes his head.

“You give the gods way too much credit. The world is a violent mess well outside of their control. Aion is a mess, too. She’s a clumsy liar with her own self-interest at heart. She’s does what she thinks is right and gets so in her own head, she can’t see her own mistakes until it’s too late. In other words, she’s just like us.”

Fedosia glared daggers at Xerxes, holding a blade of grass up at him as if she were threatening to see if she could use it like a knife.

“I don’t care if she’s your aunt, you can’t keep talking about the Everlight like that.”

“You saw her failures for yourself. She gave you her blessing because she hoped you could fix her mistakes, didn’t she?”

A theory. He knew how to press her sore spots. Fedosia groans and rests her chin on her knees, glaring at the grass for a while before responding.

“…I still don’t know why she gave me this blessing, but I still can’t be as jaded as you about it. Sure, gods are perfect. But they’re not like us, either. They know a lot and carry a ton of responsibility in this world. Just because they can’t do absolutely everything doesn’t mean they’re nothing. People aren’t just clumsy liars, either. We’re so much more than that. If we push through our flaws and overcome them like any other obstacle, we can be better than them.”

Xerxes had a big smile on his face, as if he loved ever word coming out of Fedosia’s mouth.

“Then how about we make a bet?”

“A bet? What about?”

“About gods and men. I think we are our flaws. They define us more than anything else. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just how it is. And it’s a lot more interesting that way.”

“That’s dumb.”

“So let’s find out. We’re going to see a lot more of people and gods at their worst. Let’s see if they rise above it, or if they’re exactly where they want to be. So stick with it, and keep pushing through to the end. If you and I make it that far, maybe you’ll get to tell me ‘I told you so’.”

“That must be a huge reward in your mind, huh?” Fedosia couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

“The biggest. So you better hope your prayers are heard.”